"Since when has going to shows been about marking another band seen off your scorecard? Fuck that. I want to actually hear Sativa giggling to himself, to see Omind doing his little interpretive dance, I want to meet all the crazy cool shits that I spend so much of my time every day talking too. That`s why I love [the StonerRock.com Discussion Forums], the coolest people I`ve met in the SeaTac area for going to shows with have been through this forum. If I hadn`t found it, I never would have developed my unrequited crush on Qsy, I wouldn`t have met StonedD who`s one salt of the earth individual, Boogie, my kindred soul in talking trash and loving music, I mean shit, the list is just way too long. Chovie`s bbq last weekend reminded me of what Seattle�s scene was really like `back in the day` (and if you think Seattle ever had a peak moment in it`s musical history, you`ve read too many books and articles, it`s always been there and will keep on going with or without public knowledge).
I`m going to meet some of the people that make me laugh the hardest, drink booze, smoke out, get pummeled by an amazing line up, drink mimosas and eat greasy food while hung over like a dog, sleep on floors, and act like the world outside just doesn`t matter, because for the next four days, it really fucking doesn`t."
- Tagplazen
I�ve done two undeniably good things in my life. I married my wife (Arachne on the forums), and I went to Emissions of the Monolith V.
The former was a non-brainer. We�d been together for close to eight years already and she showed no signs of wising up. Might as well make it legal. The latter, however, was touch and go. Sure, I loved the rock just as much as the next guy and from what everyone on the forums had said, it sounded like Emissions was the be-all end-all of gatherings, but there were certain facts that refused to be ignored:
1. I don�t like crowds.
2. Just because I shared scatological humor and/or CDs with these clowns, could I honestly say I knew them? A Men�s Trading Circle was not, last time I checked, a legal and binding document, and I doubted any court of law would give any sympathy if I said, �Your honor, I went to Emissions because MadJohnShaft said I should. Er, no, that�s not his real name.�
3. Anal rape sounded like nasty nasty business.
But like I said, MadJohnShaft said I ought to go to Emissions. So did Omind. So did Sativa71. So did a bunch of other people, some of them not male. I figured out of some 17,000+ members, only a couple would really want to stuff an oily rag in my mouth and have their way with me. The odds were in my favor.
The Thursday before Emissions was more of a chore than usual; who fucking cares about being responsible when an ungodly amount of rock was on the horizon? That night, I made some calls to Omind and Tagplazen, two of the four roommates in the Room o Doom (the fourth being GodShifter, who due to his lawless ways, wound up spending the weekend in the pokey instead of in Ohio, which is genius as far as excuses go). Neither one sounds like you`d expect. For all his jumbled, fleeting-relationship-with-the-written-word method of communication on the forums, in the real world Omind`s a smart, articulate guy who knows how to plan for these sorts of festivals. I thought I was being clever by buying earplugs and aspirin and for packing an extra pair of boxers in case I shit my pants. Omind, on the other hand, had a cooler full of deli meat and beer, a coffee maker, and about half a dozen other things you`d normally wish you`d have brought but forget about. Tag, like me, was just excited about the coming weekend. We both got drunk while talking on the phone, a sign of things to come.
Finally Friday rolled around and off I flew to Cleveland. For those of you who`ve never gone to one of these things before and have never met anyone from the forums, make sure the first one you meet is Tag. One of the nicest people I`ve had the pleasure of meeting, regardless of what he has or hasn�t ingested. After securing the rental car (and figuring out how to adjust the steering wheel), we took off to Youngstown. Or so we thought. See, neither Tag nor I thought about getting directions to the hotel. Well, I thought about it, but never followed through. So we drove through Youngstown. Then past it. Then we turned around and did it again. Then we called Omind. Then got lost some more. Then we called Omind again. After maybe an hour of doing donuts on the interstate we finally found the Comfort Inn, and, more importantly, Omind.
Now Omind`s a force of nature. Within the first five minutes, he had drank a beer, taken a shot of tequila, done three elbow drops on the bed, and ate a fistful of deli meat. Kokoblue and his incredibly gorgeous and sweet wife C16 came over from the room across the hall (her first words to me � �You�re so tiny!� as if one of the troll dolls Omind brought with him sprung to life and started throwing the horns) and we all got acquainted by trading stories about our pets over beer and tequila and the occasional joint. Tag and Omind wandered off to see if GodShifter arrived, only to discover that elevators don�t move unless you press one of those numbered buttons, another sign of things to come.
We got to the Nyabinghi right before the first act, Floor, took the stage, which was to be the only time that happened this weekend. Motivated we are not. But like Tag posted, I wasn`t there to see just the bands; I also wanted to meet all the people who`ve monopolized my time for the past year. That said, I`m not going to give a run-down on all the bands, as (a) I saw probably a little more than half of them, (b) I was drunk a good chunk of the time, and (c) short term memory has been shot to hell for years. I can`t say any of the bands that I saw were bad, but some did fade quickly from memory.
Floor
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
Floor were good, as were the acts that followed, but Friday was all about Erik Larson. I first heard Alabama Thunder Pussy when Staring at the Divine came out, and they were one of those bands I had to get anything and everything by right away. When Erik`s solo album came out, I was just as impressed. But the record does no justice to the man (and the band) live. The best part had to have been "Make It," when Erik and Big Shirley pounded away on the drums together, but none of the other tracks � all from The Resounding were bad either. It looked like it took him a couple of songs to get into �front man� mode, but even that didn�t take away from the performance.
Erik Larson
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
Unfortunately for me, shortly after Erik Larson`s set, I got to the point where I was literally falling down drunk, so the rest of the acts are a blank. I believe we left before the last couple of acts, which is a shame, as I would`ve liked to have seen Halfway to Gone. Or at least remembered it. But booze and travel-fatigue wore the lot of us out. The Room o� Doom crashed early. Pussies.
Halfway to Gone
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
Christ almighty, did I feel cleaned out the next morning. �Patience, shit-for-brains,� I remember thinking, �Don`t shoot your wad in one night.� After a wake and bake with Tag, we got our sorry asses cleaned up and headed over the Holiday Inn for the Meet and Greet.
Having met a ton of people the night prior in a state that at best could be described as �stupid crazy foolish drunk� - MadJohnShaft, CoolMoJulia, Sativa, PoleofJustice, Ismokealone, foetus, Sarah, Kokojones, M2, Gothchick, PSOFire, the NJ/Philly crew, etc - I was eager to meet them again in a more lucid frame of mind. I soaked up the previous night`s booze with generic and bland buffet grub, felt nauseous, marveled at the ungodly amount of bacon Omind ate (as soon as he made his way through the buffet the first time, one of the waitresses ran into the back yelling, "We need more bacon and sausage NOW!"), marveled again when he went up for seconds and returned with bacon covered in sausage gravy, garnished with bacon bits, and topped with more baon, and shot the shit with those who managed to wake up early enough. Pole, Kokoblue, and Omind were talking about heading to a Cleveland record store; due to the lump of gross congealing in my stomach, I opted to follow them. I didn`t know much about the first batch of bands, except that Abdullah didn`t do enough for me on record to warrant seeing them live. Besides, as I told my wife, I was on an adventure. I`d follow my whims and see where they got me.
What they got me were copies of Slayer`s Reign in Blood and Overkill`s Fuck You and Then Some. We got back to the club in time to see the force of nature known as Gil Mantera`s Party Dream (May May had just finished The Party Dream�s pre-show outside). Christ on a cracker these two (three if you include the hootchied gal who dances for them) are something else. The funniest, most entertaining act I`ve ever seen. If they come to your town, you owe it to yourself to check them out.
Gil Mantera`s Party Dream
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
Wandered back and forth from the club to outside, catching bits and pieces of the acts. Again, they were good and loud and everything a band should be, but nothing really stuck in my mind. It was then that I almost ruined Emissions by rolling in the street, pretending to get pummeled by errant bagels thrown by foetus, thus causing the cops to show up. Sorry Greg. Next time I`ll be better. Well, at least I�ll stay out of the street. Not acting like a buffoon for the amusement of foetus? Sorry, I am what I am. But hey, at least I didn`t fuck up the taps like Joel did the following night, though. Afterwards, a bunch of us decided to get some chow at the Mom & Pop diner down the street. Best bacon cheeseburger I`ve ever had, although Tagplazen said later that the natives were pretty happy to see us leave, and would have �asked� us to go if we hadn�t scurried on our own volition. So much for us being a bunch of charming drunks. We got back in time to see (or hear, if I was outside) Weedeater and Mastodon. Although I`m not a die-hard fan of either (the growly vocals wear thin after awhile), both were damn impressive and tight as hell. I just wish that the former didn`t play "Gimmie Back My Bullets," as that`s all Tag``s been talking about ever since. And for a reason that made sense at the time, we left before The Atomic Bitchwax. Oops.
Weedeater
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
Mastodon
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
The Atomic Bitchwax
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
Back at the Room o Doom, we wound up entertaining a number of people until the wee hours of the morning. ZodiacLung was kind enough to bring a bottle of Basil Haydens, which went down too smoothly and disappeared too quickly. And then there was furious. One shot of Basil�s and he was completely and totally unhinged, pounding on walls, shouting, and throwing innocent troll dolls out the window. It was at times funny, tiring, and disturbing. No wonder his wife let him go on this trip. She got some peace and quiet that weekend. It was only when Erik and Big Shirley showed up that he got somewhat under control. But by that time, we were dead tired (especially me; at one time during the night, Randolfio looked at my glazed expression and said, �You want nothing more than to go to bed,� while in front of me furious was bouncing off the walls, shouting about fat jews and other assorted nonsense). Finally, Omind kicked everyone out, much to the chagrin of the crusty dreadlocked girls. "Whadaya mean you`re kicking ATP out?" "We`re tired, you`re leaving." Such is life.
After a necessary evil of a breakfast at Denny`s (made even more evil by Fes doing a shot of syrup), we made the last trip over to the Nyabinghi in time for the last half of Red Giant`s set. Good stuff, solid heavy boogie-based rock, like Monster Magnet before Dave fell in love with kitsch and drum machines. Met up with MadJohnShaft, who convinced me with his wily charms to go get high with him, Mace, and PSOfire. Wandered back into the club, realized it`s been years since I smoked that much pot at once and wondered what to do with myself. Sitting at the back of the bar with the ever-addled Tag was the best bet. Listened to the Rubes and became a convert. They`ve got a sound similar to Gov`t Mule, but heavier and more song-oriented. After the pounding, harsher music from the night prior, it was good to hear a more mellow Southern sound.
Red Giant
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
The Rubes
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
Then came Pelican.
Holy fuck. They were a left-hook, punch-in-the-throat of a band. Four guys who looked like their median age was around 17 and they just slayed. They won half the audience with the first song, and got the rest with the second. Going to the merch table and finding out they sold out the Pelican EP is probably one of the bigger disappointments from the weekend. Prior to Emissions, I had known about a third of the bands (meaning more than just a couple of tracks). Out of the new stuff I heard, Pelican`s the only one that flat out kicked me in the ass. So I`ll repeat what I said earlier: holy fuck.
Pelican
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
It was during Pelican`s set that I got to see Greg in action, manning the sound board. It`s been said numerous times on the forums, but it`s worth repeating: without Greg, there`d be no Emissions from the Monolith. He and his staff did a top notch job, from making sound adjustments to keeping May May away from Spacecakes to keeping us all liquored up. He ought to run a school on how to run a rock show.
Next memorable band was Dixie Witch. Now here`s a group that sums up what I like about this genre � heavy with a good sense of groove, a thick Southern style, and strong vocals. They are the epitome of a live band, and I hope to hell they get the success they deserve. They played tracks from both albums and threw in an awe-inspiring version of "On the Hunt" from Sucking the 70s.
Dixie Witch
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
I only heard a couple of tunes from Stinking Lizaveta. They were impressive as hell (enough to make me want to see them again the following Friday), but I wanted to get some fresh air, and practice Karma Drinking � where you buy one person a drink, they buy someone else a drink, and gradually it comes back to you - in the front area. I got back in time to see JJ Paradise Player`s Club. As whomever I was standing next to said (Ismokealone? Mr. Red? Snailhook?), the great thing about the Player`s Club is that they have a blast on stage. Their set and style of music was a great addition to the line-up. These guys, along with Pelican, The Rubes, and Dixie Witch, were making Sunday the best night so far.
Stinking Lizaveta
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
JJ Paradise Players Club
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
Went back into wander mode, so I didn`t catch enough of the next three sets to remember much (and due to my dumb shit luck, I didn`t catch Joel doing the face dive in the front bar either). Besides, I was all about Solace - 13 is the record to beat in 2003 and they were one of the bands I was most looking forward to at Emissions. The live reviews have said that even with a substitute singer (Jadd from Spiritu) and a last minute drummer replacement (the dude from the Rubes), they were still tight as hell live. Even with the newer members and equipment trouble (starting with Tommy leaving his guitar at the hotel), they delivered a tight set, with an equal focus on Further and 13. My only complaint is that while Jadd`s great in Spiritu, there were times his vocal style didn`t quite mesh with the Solace songs. But Jason was somewhere in NJ, and this version of Solace was 100 times better than no Solace at all. Even with Richie from Gil Mantera climbing on Tommy like some crack-fueled monkey.
Solace
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
After yet another barbeque pork sandwich, I used my last remaining cash to get the final Jack on the rocks of the weekend and caught The Hidden Hand. I liked what I heard, to the point where I wish I knew more about the band. Good, driving metal with no frills. Pure rock.
The Hidden Hand
Live at Emissions from the Monolith V
(Click photos for larger versions)
But then it ended. Just like that.
Well, Emissions ended. There was still the last throw down in the Room o� Doom. Somehow people misunderstood us when we said, "Tonight`s party will be elsewhere," as we wound up with the usual gang in 312. Omind managed to secure a bottle of vodka, the crew from the Nyabinghi showed up with some beer, and Ismokealone showed up with foetus (who thankfully was not a bald, fat sexual predator). So we had some more laughs, more booze, then 5:00 rolled around, and we got some needed shut-eye.
Weeks later, I`m having a tough time believing it actually happened. I met a hell of a lot of cool people and had more fun than should be allowed, shakes notwithstanding. Sure, I could`ve seen more of the bands (especially Halfway to Gone and The Atomic Bitchwax), but in all honesty, I`ve got no regrets. Besides, where else can you say your screen name with pride? And loudly? And often?
Emissions VI can`t come soon enough.
