Our second day in The Netherlands had us waking up after checkout-time to the sound of a maid trying to enter our hotel room. Luckily, we had the brass latch firmly in place.

"Hold on! We`re getting up!!" I made a b-line for the free breakfast only to get my head bitten off:

"Breakfast is over!!" So I was informed by the girl that was cleaning it up. She told me once in Dutch, in the same tone, but I ignored her, which obviously made her even more objectionable to my plight of obtaining a complimentary breakfast.

"But, I can still see it, I can still touch it, I can still have it!! I`m only half an hour late, come-on, please!!!!" I was thinking in my head.. I was desperate for coffee!! It wasn`t worth it though. She had a chip on her shoulder and I could tell that she wasn`t in the mood for my pleading.

So Paul and I made our way towards the Woerden train station. The sea of bikes occupied less territory being a Saturday. Amersfoort was the destination. Ron was supposed to already be there at our next Best Western (?) hotel waiting for us, and he was. Just out of the shower and it wasn`t 10 minutes before we saw him completely naked as his towel fell off while he was exuberantly explaining to us the pains it took him to get a power adapter to recharge his discman.

"Nobody speaks english here!! Nobody takes American money!! They said I could get a power adapter at any store in the town!! It was the fifth store before I finally found a power adapter and I think it blew my AC adapter! I think my discman is FUCKED!!! It`s all a conspiracy!!" he explained to us coherantly and rationally, like it was "the truth". This was our first impression of Ron, and on his first trip overseas. We`ve all been there, and besides, everybody DOES speak near perfect english in Holland!

We had a boring breakfast in our ultra-classy Best Western (?) hotel dining room and got to know each other a little bit. Ron was definitely going to Amsterdam TODAY! He was, in fact, only "in town" for 2 days, as opposed to our 4 days. Paul and I weren`t sure. We were suitably hung-over from the night before and decided that we needed some sleep. Whether this was a good decision or a bad decision is still undetermined. Maybe a bad decision, considering what Ron got up to. Probably a good decision, considering what Ron got up to!

Paul and I slept the afternoon away again and woke up just in time to catch a taxi into Amersfoort "city central" on a freezing cold eve of blowing rain. We enter the first restaraunt we saw, a fancy Italian pizza joint directly across the street from the club of the night, "De Kelder". Low and behold. Who do we see? All four members of Mammoth Volume sitting with Benny at a table across the room. We pulled another table up to theirs, ate some really good crunchy pizza and got to know each other a little more over a few beers. It`s great that we got that little respite to chat normally with the guys because the shows themselves were so wild with crazy stoned drunkness that it was hardly possible to talk to anyone!

We crossed the street to the De Kelder club and entered to find Ron already there, seemingly talking-up a cute blonde Dutch girl. Turns out that she was the soundman`s girlfriend and Ron was simply explaining to her and then us, with much urgency and very few words, just how high he really was. "You would not believe how FUCKED UP I am! I am soooo FUCKED UP! I did 60 grams of mushrooms in Amsterdam and can`t believe that I found my way here!! It was sooo haaaarrrd!! I`m SOO FUCKED UP!!" We were then treated to a string of anecdotes about his day in Amsterdam alone, and on 60 grams of fresh Mexican Psilocybe Cubensis that he purchased for 24 Euros from a Smart Shop in the Red Light District. He`d been to a prostitute in one of those red lighted windows "just to experience it on mushrooms", he wandered around a lot and he actually went to an internet coffee shop and posted several increasingly incohesive messages to the forums. Which you can read here if you`re so inclined. You get to watch on as he peaks on mushrooms, live online, from Amsterdam! :0)

De Kelder was not a very good club. We were forced to smoke our weed in the back-stage room and not out in the open like at the Babylon and the staff looked like that of a dance club, not a rocker or punker in the bunch. It was a concrete bunker below street level ("De Kelder" means "The Underground"). 57 Chevy put on a very similar set to the one of the night before. Mammoth Volume put on a loose, slightly inebriated and sometimes uncomfortable set. I don`t blame them. The place had a bad vibe and the band felt it. The audience in Woerden was pretty big but not at Amersfoort. There were us, the band, the staff and 3 or 4 other dudes that looked like they could appreciate Led Zeppelin. Extalapoketl and Billsbrother were also in attendance but there was no sign of Luna Loca or Sprite Light (who we were looking forward to meeting). BillsBrother gave us word that Sprite Light had fallen suddenly ill and Luna Loca was surely ill after the night before! But don`t think we didn`t enjoy the set. It was only in comparison to the precision of the previous night`s set that I find fault this time around. Ron was seeing them for the first time and he was definitely blown away.

After the show was over the club filled up with kids who looked very ready and willing to boogie the night away on E. No wonder it had a bad vibe - the staff was just waiting for the dance party all night! Almost as soon as Mammoth Volume stopped playing the club transformed instantaneously and completely from an empty rock show into a full night club with canned "beats" and everything. Very sad. Those poor kids. They just don`t have a clue. Mammoth Volume was even rushed into getting their gear off stage quickly.

Understandably the band split and Extalapoketl, Billsbrother, Ron, Paul and myself went in search of some "rock" bars that we`d been informed of. The first bar was OK. Ron convinced the DJ to play songs by both "Unida" and "Thulsa Doom" and they fit right in alongside the Guns & Roses and Ted Nugent type stuff they were already playing. Then some skinhead biker dudes came into the place, waltzed behind the bar and proceeded to poor their own beers. The waitress was screaming bloody murder at them and when the DJ came over to intervene he was stomped right there before our eyes. He was on the ground and they were kicking him! It was all so sudden that only Paul and I actually saw it. Totally intense. The "fight" was broken up, the police were called and we all slipped out quietly before one of us was next. The next bar we found, just a few doors down, was obviously where those biker dudes had come from previous to the DJ bashing incident. It was packed with very tough looking dudes. We did stay for a beer, just to be polite, and said our goodbyes to Extalapoketl and BillsBrother. But not before I got that group photo of them with Paul and Ron. The remaining three of us caught a taxi back to our hotel room. Ron was out like a light as soon as he hit the pillow.

The following morning we awoke late to the sound of a maid attempting to enter the room, missed breakfast and caught a taxi to the train station. Destination, Amsterdam!! Finally! We wandered around aimlessly trying to "just find" our new hotel without actually getting any directions. We knew it was somewhere off of Amsterdam Square. Somehow we found it, with the use of a tourist map. After we checked in we had a weird lunch then wandered around the ultra-busy streets and paths of downtown. Amsterdam is really a beautiful old city. Most of the streets are cobble-stone and very narrow one laners in most cases. It obviously takes a brave soul to bring a car into the city! A 50 foot wide canal could be found every second street with hundreds of one lane bridges spanning them. Amsterdam is designed for walking, riding bikes and the tram, which are easy to get run over by as they haul ass through the middle of the square.

But it wasn`t long before we felt the magnetic pull of the Red Light District beckoning us. Ron was in charge of leading us to the same Smart Shop that he`d been to the day before. He had been there already, he should be able to find it again? Right? On our search we ran into The Map Man - a street person who works for his "spare change" by helping tourists find their way around Amsterdam. He informed us that we were presently moving in the exact opposite direction that we wanted to be going in to find our Smart Shop. He gave us some of his homemade, xeroxed map books/tour guides and walked us all the way to where we were going. We each gave him a couple of bucks for his troubles, it was totally worth it, and entered the "Conscious Dreams" Smart Shop to buy some more shrooms! For those who haven`t been there: "Smart Shops" are where you can buy magic mushrooms, seeds and druggie parafanalia (sp?) and "Coffee Shops" are where you buy weed and hash etc. Although, there may be much more to it all than just that simple breakdown. I wasn`t there long enough to find out.

I was very skeptical that Ron had actually done 60 grams of magic mushrooms even though he instisted it was true. I didn`t believe him to be intentionally lying. I just thought he might have gotten his facts mixed up during his "trip". But by God, it was true. Together we purchased 90 more grams of Mexican Psilicybe Cubensis mushrooms for a grand total of 36 Euros. They were fresh, in plastic containers with labels and were 30 grams per container. Two of the three containers had only one large mushroom in them, the third had two medium sized mushrooms. (Check out the top right hand column of this page for photos). We went out into one of the lanes and Ron and I ate 45 grams each - Paul wasn`t interested. Since they were fresh they actually tasted great! Unlike the dried variety we`re used to over here.

And then it was time to hop on the train, bound for Den Helder. Another small town, but this time it was on the coast and it was reported to us by Mammoth Volume that it was a navy base. As we sat on the train, smoking cigarettes and watching the sun set alongside an incoming storm front the mushrooms started to kick in hard. I started getting very anxious about our destination. In my head I foresaw bad things in the near future. I started imagining what a show on a "navy base" might be like. Would it be in a mess hall? Would it be under flourescent lights? Would we be be the only freaks there? Were we gonna get stomped by the Dutch Navy elite? The Fear began to set in.

I said to Ron and Paul "This is going to be an interesting ride."

"Well, it`s just about to get a little more interesting" proclaimed Ron in response as he downed a bottle of Robomax in about 5 wince enducing gulps.

"Holy shit. This guy isn`t going to be much help to us in the upcoming mess hall brawl!" I thought to myself as some elderly lady suddenly informed us that we had to change trains, all the other passengers had already left the train. I wonder how long we would have sat there on a stopped train before we realized this? The conductor`s announcements are only in Dutch, you see. So we followed the same woman over to another platform and got on the same train as her. Luckily it was the correct train, unluckily it was packed! We walked up and down the length of the train looking for Second Class seats and found none. The Fear got worse when we made a group decision to sit in the spacious empty seats of the First Class compartment. It wasn`t the potential fine (or whatever the penalty was for this infraction) that I was worried about - it was the scene that would surely ensue if we were busted and too stoned to speak rationally in our own defense. First Class costs about twice that of second class. Fortunately we weren`t busted but we did find out that the train didn`t go all the way to Den Helder. Somehow Paul knew this already and we exited the train to see hundreds of people herding into packed buses. There were track repairs ahead and this was obviously the temporary transportation to Den Helder. It was also wet, cold and windy! The whole bus thing definitely didn`t look like an experience that I would survive in my condition. Ron and Paul agreed so we opted for a cab.

The cab ride was relaxing, the sun was still setting, the landscape was very scenic and The Fear was starting to subside but my mess-hall visions still lingered. Peaking on strong mushrooms in a foreign transit system is not something I`d recommend to everyone, only The Brave. The cabbie dropped us off a few blocks away from the De Engel club, pointed down a lane and gave us directions that we must have misunderstood completely because once he drove away we had no idea where to go. It was getting dark and the streets were completely devoid of pedestrians. Garbage was blowing around our feet as we walked through the freezing cold wind towards the direction that the cabbie had sent us in. We only found the club thanks to directions from a McDonald`s (?) customer. McDonalds was the only building we could find with people in it.

All of my fears and worries were totally dissolved as we entered the coolest club we`d ever been in. Goatsnake was pounding out of the sound system and the atmosphere was immediately soothing. The bar was all wood inside with a warm, fuzzy, pub-like mood to it and the lighting was mellow. I was so relieved, and even more so when Jorgen of Mammoth Volume plopped two cold beers on the table in front of me. He explained to me that he had already been drinking all afternoon and was having the greatest time. He had a BOOK of drink tickets in hand and bought us beers for most of the night with the never ending supply. We were introduced to the owner of the bar, one of those long-hair stoner types that we`ve heard so much about, and some of the regulars. A great many of the people we met there said they visit StonerRock.com all the time, but don`t post in the forums.

This night was quickly turning into the best night of the trip so far. Ron downed another bottle of Robomax and planted himself at the bar for a good long while, I think he may have been providing CDs to be played. When he did speak to us he only said "THIS IS SOOOO GOOOOOD, I`M SOOO FUUUCCKKKED UUUPPP!!" Paul and I got a table right in front of the non-existent stage which was just an area of the floor cordoned off with camouflage netting. The washrooms were behind the netting and whenever a person had to use the toilet while the band was playing they had to wait for Kalle to move out of the way so they could pass without colliding with him. But the lack of an actual stage and proper stage lighting had absolutely zero negative effect on the experience that followed.

There were joints floating around aplenty before Mammoth Volume started to play. Most of them were mammoth two-paper cone-shaped jobbies but the one that the club owner kept passing to us and the band was merely a pinner in comparison. This one was very, very strong and sent me into a whole new realm of existence as Mammoth Volume played through their set. This 3rd time around was a brilliant combination of their previous two sets. They were drunk again, but this time the vibe was very good. Their performance wasn`t as tight as the first night but it was a drunken looseness where you could tell that they were really enjoying themselves and just having some fun with the songs. During the last song Jorgen hailed StonerRock.com, myself, Paul and Ron through the microphone and then had each of us say something into the mic. Ron said "Uhhhh..." after Jorgen hailed him as the Mushroom Man. I said "I`m on mushrooms too" which drew an approving and understanding applause. I think Paul said "Hey". We can be pretty interesting guys under pressure!! :0) hehe

When they stopped playing the entire audience of about 30 people cheered loudly for an encore but the band had the quest of further inebriation in their eyes and headed towards the bar. Many interesting conversations between foreigners and locals were had during the hour that followed. That`s one of the greatest things about travelling to new countries - there`s always something new to talk about. Comparing each other`s cultures and all that jazz. A thoroughly enjoyable way to spend some quality-of-life type time.

And then all Hell broke loose. Mammoth Volume was suddenly approaching the stage-area again unannounced. They asked me if I wanted to play the bass while they did a live jam session. I said "NO WAY" due to my extreme stage fright problem but regretted my decision soon thereafter. I was thinking to myself "this is a once in a lifetime experience. you could get up and jam with Mammoth Volume. you`re gonna regret this for the rest of your life, Dan!" ..and then 10 minutes later they asked me if I wanted to sing instead and I said "NO THANK YOU!" and my previous thoughts ran through my head again with even more urgency. Then, when I moved over to the bar to watch from a different angle for a while, Daniel just pulled his guitar off and handed it to me. I actually took it and put it on while not believing for a second that this was actually happening. It definitely was happening though and I was having the best fucking time ever! The stage fright was still there but it was exhilarating just the same. Not that I really played anything but random notes in time with the beat. But that didn`t stop everyone from cheering and throwing the goat horns at me. I think I played for about 10 minutes before handing the guitar back to Daniel who suggested that I should stay up and play while they covered Fairies Wear Boots by Black Sabbath. I can`t play that song, or any other song for that matter, so I declined. I still can`t believe that I actually jammed live with Mammoth Volume.

After they played the jammed-out Black Sabbath cover the rest of the session was exceedingly cool for a while and then it got bad. The Mammoth Volume guys were all switching instruments after each "song". Nicklas is particularly good at playing everything and he even did some stints as the violent-screaming-guy in some hilarious nu-metal take-offs. But then, very cunningly, some other band gradually worked their way onto the instruments during the musician-swapping extravaganza. All of a sudden they were playing their own songs as if they were actually supposed to be playing a set. It was weird and everybody kind of moved away further and further as they played on. But they didn`t play for long luckily - I think they got the hint.

The general atmosphere of this killer club and the friendliness of everyone in attendance really made this show into something very special and legendary, for us at least. We all proclaimed it to be one of the best experiences of our lives so far. Good times, good people, good music. What more could you ever want? ...And they`ve got plans to build a proper stage so it`s only gonna get better. I kinda wish I lived in Den Helder now - just for the De Engel and the cool people that frequent it!

At some point in the evening we`d made the decision to miss the last train. We said our goodbyes to everyone - this would be our last encounter with Mammoth Volume so they were long and congratulatory goodbyes. Cangratulatory to them cuz they were such a great live band and made our trip overseas totally worthwhile and congratulatory to us because we`d did it all (well, Ron definitely did it "all") and were still alive and kicking.

We each chipped in 50 Euros for a taxi ride all the way back to Amsterdam in the early morning hours. The trip was such a long one that I actually had to ask the driver to pull over on the highway so that I could take a leak in the ditch! We got back to the Hotel room very late but Ron still wanted to go out and explore Amsterdam some more before he had to jump on a plane the very next morning. Paul and I wanted no part of this - especially considering that Amsterdam was locked down tight, even restaraunts, bars, coffee shops etc, were all very closed. Paul rang the buzzer that alerted the doorman to open the huge red doors of our hotel building and let us in (after hours procedure). Paul and I went inside but Ron wouldn`t cross the threshold into the lobby. He was determined to find something open or at least find that last little bit of fun before heading back home. We tried to explain to him that he wasn`t going to have any luck. The doorman even had a crack at it. Ron wasn`t having any of it and off he went into the night.

Paul and I went to bed in utter amazement at our travelling companion`s endurance. The next thing I remember is waking up briefly in the morning and shaking Ron`s hand "goodbye" from under my blankets as he left to catch his plane. Turns out that he didn`t find anything to do in Amsterdam besides standing in the middle of a street listening to The Awesome Machine "Under the Influence" on his discman really loud. Which I bet was quite the experience considering the state he must have been in! It also turns out that he missed his flght and had to camp out in the Schipol airport for 22 hours, as I mentioned in the beginning of this feature. Poor bugger. But a big fucking kudos to the poor bugger for keeping his shit firmly together the whole trip regardless of how messed up he became. What a trooper!

With just my-very-hungover-self and Paul remaining for one more day in Amsterdam we made the effort to get out and visit some of the famed "Coffee Shops" and do some general sightseeing around the city. We ate some "space-banana-cake" at one of them and also bought, and smoked, a pre-rolled blonde-hash joint at one place. The joint only cost 3 Euros and it was massive! We went back to the hotel and had a nap after that. We went out again that night and smoked anther joint and had some whiskey shots at another "Coffee Shop" and then took a tram to another part of Amsterdam to a "blues bar" where we thought we might find another good night of music. It wasn`t to be - these guys were playing hey-we`re-in-the-hishschool-band songs of the Phish variety to their parents and some trendy sophisticated types. We could only handle the pain inflicted from two songs before we had to scram in a hurry. And that was it. We got some sleep in the hotel, left two giant half-joints in the ashtray as a tip for the maids, and got back on our planes back to Chicago and Vancouver, respectively, the next morning.

I got searched a dozen more times on the 20 hour journey home (including a 4 hour wait for my bus in Seattle) and entered my apartment at 1am to find that it was still under heavy renovations. All of the cabinets and sinks were pulled out and there was old cabinet parts, tools, crap, drywall and buckets cluttering up all the floor space. There was drywall dust all over my bed and the shower was out of order, no running water at all, actually. I fell asleep immediately only to be woken up at 8am by the contractors returning to finish the renovations. This was a hellish end to an otherwise incredible adventure. I`m still having a difficult time staying awake past 10pm due to the jetlag and lack of sleep of my first night back.

If you are so inclined to actually read more about our Amsterdam adventures you can click here to jump directly to Ron`s account and/or click here here to jump directly to Paul`s account. Both of their write-ups were posted in the General Discussion Forums under Ron`s original "shrooms" thread mentioned at the beginning of this feature. If you like, you can click here to read the entire thread from the beginning.

Please feel free to discuss this feature in this thread...